An IT help desk in Harlow.
Dean: Well, I certainly won’t do it again.
Ian: Just answer yes or no. Do you understand the consequences?
Dean: I have a hard time believing the consequences could be that severe.
Ian: Yes or no?
Dean: Fine… yes.
Ian: Because I think I told you about the last person to plug in their personal laptop to our system.
Dean: You said it caused chaos.
Ian: Chaos? It’s more like what’s called superchaos.
Dean: I don’t believe that’s a word.
Ian: It’s an IT term, a professional IT term. You could have toppled the entire infrastructure of the company.
Dean: I very much doubt that.
Ian: Oh, so now you’re the IT expert?
Ian: I didn’t know I was speaking to another IT expert who had trained as much as me and got certification.
Dean: I’m just saying my laptop’s safe.
Ian: So you have a complete and ongoing list of every virus in the world?
Dean: I do have virus software.
Ian: So do most of the cyberterrorists.
Dean: We’re a stationery firm. I don’t think cyberterrorists are targeting us.
Ian: So I guess you don’t play Warcraft?
Dean: No, I don’t play video games.
Ian: Attacks come from all sides. It’s a hard but necessary lesson.
Dean: We’re talking one laptop here.
Ian: You don’t know what’s hidden inside. You heard of the Trojan pony?
Dean: No, I haven’t.
Ian: It’s a Roman myth about a large pony stuffed with explosives. Everyone thinks it’s innocent until it goes off. It kills and maims hundreds.
Dean: I think you might mean the Trojan horse. From The Aeneid? [Pause]
Ian: No, I don’t.
Dean: Fine, then.
Ian: The Trojan pony is actually an IT term, a professional IT term. OK? Have I been clear? Have I made myself perfectly clear in this situation?