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A man waits for a coffee in a Lower East Side coffee shop.
The barista leans across the counter towards him.
Matt: It’s crazy, bro. My girlfriend’s basically unlicensed and driving across the Williamsburg Bridge and out to Bushwick right now, and I mean, she wanted to get her license, that’s always been on the agenda, but it hasn’t happened yet. But today, she had to drive, she had to risk it, she had to get back to her apartment.
Gerald: OK.
Matt: I mean, she’s just doing this one fast trip. She’s not driving fast. She’s just, like, doing the whole trip quickly. And that’s it. It’s one and done. And I think if you drive one place, make no stops, and you’re used to driving…
Gerald: It’s still illegal.
Matt: She’s got the skills. She’s got the understanding of the car, she’s a good driver, and I mean, at first, it was like, “You’re going to Astoria as well? No. You’re not stopping in Astoria. You get pulled over by cops and you have to say you were driving straight to your apartment.”
Gerald: They’re not gonna care.
Matt: I know, Gerald, and I’m psyched you’re here to give that point of view and that perspective, but whatever happens…
Gerald: You hit someone?
Matt: I know.
Gerald: You’re uninsured.
Matt: I know.
Gerald: You run up on the curb?
Matt: I know that.
Gerald: You’re uninsured.
Matt: But if you have to explain, it’s best to tell someone: “I’m sorry. It’s crazy circumstances. I won’t do it again. I just needed to drive to Bushwick this one time.”
Gerald: They won’t care.
Matt: But if you get one who’s understanding…
Gerald: An understanding NYPD?
Matt: Someone who’s having a good day.
Gerald: The NYPD officer who’s having a good day?
Matt: Or whatever.
Gerald: I think I heard about that one…
Matt: Or whatever.
Gerald: …that one good officer who had one good day in 1994. And did something kind.
Matt: All I’m saying is that she’s driving there, like, right now. It’s kind of nerve-wracking.
Gerald: I might not be the best. I might not be the most understanding person to tell this to.
Matt: OK.
Gerald: You know?
Matt: I get that.
Gerald: I don’t have a lot of stories where I have a moment of understanding with an NYPD officer.
Matt: Here’s the Americano.
Gerald: Good. And I ordered a blueberry muffin.
[Pause]
Matt: Right. Did I take the money?
Gerald: You took the money for it.
Matt: Did I?
Gerald: You did.
[Pause]
Matt: OK.
[His phone rings]
Matt: What’s up, baby?
What’s going on?
You’re where?
No. You took a wrong turn. You took a right. You shouldn’t have taken a right.
OK.
OK.
He’s yelling at you or talking to you?
Keep driving.
Just keep driving. You can always circle back.